When I was asked to chair a panel for British Airways’ WINGS event, in honour of International Women’s Day, I was thrilled. The opportunity to speak with such an incredible line-up of leaders was such an exciting prospect. What I didn’t anticipate was how moved I would feel walking off that stage.
The inspiring tone of the day started before we even took our places, when I realised that Precious Mshengu, the event’s organiser, had not only brought together such an impressive event, but did so on her birthday and with her daughter watching from the audience. If that isn’t the perfect embodiment for womanhood, I don’t know what is.
The theme of this year’s International Women’s Day is ‘Give to Gain’. Focusing on opening doors, building leaders, and paying opportunity forward. At first glance, that can feel straightforward. What can you offer someone to help them progress? But as the conversation unfolded, it became more and more evident that there is nothing straightforward about the impact of even the most unexpected of gestures.
Between Ali Donnelly, Martha Lane-Fox, Henning Kruger, Lisa Tremble and Colm Lacy, there was a breadth of experience few rooms could match. From aviation to digital transformation, from elite sport to tech entrepreneurship. And yet, some common themes kept resurfacing.
The first, was readiness.
There is a widely known statistic, that many of us will be aware of, that men will often apply for a role when they meet around 60% of the criteria, whereas women tend to wait until they feel they meet close to 100%. This came up a few times throughout the discussion and Colm even shared that he tested this pattern, and it held true.
While it’s easy enough to recognise that this mindset sets women back, whilst their male counterparts are pursuing opportunities, there was another consequence to this behaviour that many in the room hadn’t considered; that by the time you do step forward, you are often competing with someone who met part of the brief, went for it anyway, and has already been seen trying, learning and growing in that space. That confidence and visibility compounds, giving that counterpart an advantage. Readiness is a myth and waiting for it is costly.
Several panellists also spoke about moments where someone opened a door for them before they felt formed enough to walk through it. Lisa described being given an entirely new remit and was, in her words, effectively pushed through the door. And her instinct was, “Just say yes”. What I loved about this story is that it normalises the irregularity of progression. Sometimes the next step isn’t a neatly signposted promotion. Sometimes it’s a sideways move, an unexpected project, a “Could you just pick this up?” that widens your frame of reference and changes how you see yourself.
We discussed that the trick here was to borrow confidence. If you don’t feel ready for the opportunity in front of you, there comes a moment when you have to look to the person opening that door for you, and trust their judgement more than your self-doubt.
The other part of the conversation that stayed with me is the power and importance of showing up. The shape of opportunity isn’t always as you’d expect, and the trajectory of progression is rarely the neat, linear journey we think. Martha shared the story of surviving an awful car crash that changed her life forever. Intensive care, 27 hours of operation and lifesaving treatment led her to the realisation that resilience is a decision. You just keep showing up. Even if it’s only for the hours, or minutes in front of you. You don’t have to be the ‘best version’ of yourself for your presence to matter. The power of showing up anyway is palpable and speaks volumes.
Another empowering takeaway from Ali was to remember why you’re in the room. In moments where you feel out of your depth, you need to flip your perspective and remember; what perspective or experience are you carrying that no one else is? Why were you brought in? And, importantly, who are you representing who isn’t in the room at all. Sometimes, the spaces you’re in go beyond your personal journey, they’re about the underrepresented voices in conversations that you’re able to have.
It is important for leaders to remember the responsibility on the other side of that equation. Sponsorship is not passive encouragement, it is active. Ali made the important point that there is a difference between saying everyone is welcome, and designing something with someone in mind. That’s the reality of leading with intention, the daily discipline of noticing, backing and designing with people in mind.
Another reality we discussed is the impact that culture has on our perception of what’s possible. When Henning described his days in as a research physicist, one of things that struck him was how the differences in project teams reflected their nations’ accepted ‘norms’. In some cases, entire teams were made up of women, simply because in those cultures, Physics is seen as a job for women.
In other words, the stories we tell ourselves about “what women do” or “what men do” are not universal truths. They’re habits and cultural defaults. And if they’ve been constructed, they can be reconstructed.
Which is as true in STEM as it is in leadership.
All in all, the strongest thread throughout this discussion was that there are no rules to trailblazing. Your potential and your opportunities are defined by your perception.
Your career does not have to be linear to be powerful. What matters is your intention, your willingness to show up as you are, and your courage to borrow, and then pass on, the confidence that was once lent to you.